


The Long Road

by VermeilH20



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-02 13:13:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17264828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VermeilH20/pseuds/VermeilH20
Summary: Korra is still recovering from an eating disorder she developed after her encounter with the Red Lotus.Asami is trying her best to be a supportive girlfriend, even when other people are less than sensitive.





	1. Chapter 1: Asami

"Might not want to eat too much of those, or you'll get fat." Tenzin said jovially.

Korra froze, her hand halfway in the bag of fireflakes. A familiar rage began to boil behind her blue eyes. "Can you shut up? Just once, can you not talk about my eating?" She snapped, scowling angrily before slamming the fireflakes onto the table and leaving.

Tenzin looked crushed, unsure of what had just happened. As Asami slipped out of the room, she could hear Kya berating Tenzin. Gently but forcefully, she was trying to get him to understand. Asami sighed, her heart sinking. This wasn't the first incident, and it wouldn't likely be the last. Korra's old master meant well, but he didn't seem to understand that some traumas weren't made on the battlefield. They came afterwards.

Korra had come back from the fight with Kuvira with her spirit mostly restored and balanced. Despite her increased quietude, she had retained more than mere traces of the sincere spitfire she had been before... well, before everything.

Asami's stomach clenched at the thought of what her girlfriend had gone through. First with Unalaq's assault and the broken cycle, then the Red Lotus and their torture. She had been devastated when Korra had left for the South Pole, a shell of the woman she had come to know. She would never forget the feeling of standing on that pier, watching a weakened Korra was wheeled away. She would never forget the fear and worry that her one girl-friend wouldn't recover. Not that she had doubted Kya, Katara and Senna. The women were some of the most talented people she knew, and she had the utmost trust in them. But she would not have blamed Korra for not wanting to return. After all, she had broken more than a heart or a couple of bones.

After her own father's treachery had been revealed, Asami had thrown herself headlong into managing the company. That, and training with Team Avatar, had been her saving grace. Seeing how her father had succumbed to his grief and hate had led her to vow to never make the same mistake. Thankfully, she had her friends there to support her through it all. so it was the least she could do when Korra began writing to her. Slowly, over the course of their correspondence, Asami had gotten a glimpse into the heart and soul that hid behind all the bravado and bluster. The questioning mind hidden behind curt put-downs. Something had changed. Her brash idealism was gone, replaced with a more hesitant quietude. But she had not given up. What had reassured Asami through it all was how that old spark and determination, despite wavering at times, burned just as bright on the page as it had that first day they met. She had had a bit of a crush on the Avatar for a while (who wouldn't?) and had always cared for her as a friend, but it was the letters that tipped the feeling into something else. Something more romantic. They had been able to say things they had never managed to when face-to-face, or when with the brothers. Before long, letters that had started out as perfunctory chronicles of daily happenings had developed into pages of rambling thoughts and inside jokes. Then came the admission. And slowly, things seemed to change for the better.

It had shocked her when she had seen Korra again. The Avatar was back fighting on her feet, but she had looked so emaciated. Jagged planes curved under a hollowed face. A pervasive tiredness in her sunken eyes. It had been unsettling, especially when she smiled. The cocky grin from all those years ago had been replaced by a much more reserved smile, almost as if she had been hesitant to be happy. That expression had reminded Asami of the way she had looked in the press conferences following her father's imprisonment. She had lost eight pounds, running to meetings, making calls and barely eating as the weight of the company fell on her shoulders. It had been nothing more than a minor annoyance when those idiot radio jockeys started commenting on how much better she looked, how much thinner as if grief was some kind of diet plan. But she had grown up in the public eye, the only daughter of her very successful father. 

Korra hadn't. In fact, Korra had been downright sheltered down in the South Pole and had never really learned to build that kind of thick skin. It had been fine at first, when her confidence acted as a buffer against the insults. But with that self-belief shattered, the insidious comments found cracks to seep into through. And it was ten times worse for her, too. Korra had always been very muscular, thanks to her hours of rigorous training and heavy appetite. She had also favored functionality over fashion, only forcing herself into dresses on rare formal occasions. She had also never been afraid to speak her mind, often calling out reporters to their faces.

None of these traits had much endeared her to the press. So when she resurfaced, thin and with a new haircut, the mouthbreathers on the radio had actually had the temerity to claim that it was a better look, a more feminine one. Korra hadn't seemed to give it much consideration at the time, but even as she had began to return to some semblance of her old self, Asami had noticed a new self-consciousness in her bearing. More and more often, Asami had found her girlfriend in front of the mirror, her hand pressing against her stomach. Korra had also begun to eat less at meals. Whereas once she would clear out every plate on the table, she had begun to take only a few mouthfuls before claiming satiety. While Asami was a bit concerned, there were a lot of comments about how Korra looked so much better, so much thinner, so much more feminine and she didn't want to say anything that would sound critical of her girlfriend. It was hard enough being two very powerful, very public women in a romantic relationship. Any chink in their armor would have become instant tabloid fodder. Asami had seen so many of her friends' relationships break under that kind of stress and she did not want it for her and Korra. So she kept quiet, trying to let Korra know that she loved her no matter how she looked.

Things had come to a head one afternoon, around a year ago. Asami had been traveling for company business, and Korra was staying with Tenzin, Pema and the kids. One morning, Korra had come back from her usual run and gone to take a shower. When a loud crash came from the bathroom, Tenzin had run in only to find the Avatar on the floor, passed out and twitching with her eyes rolled so far back in her head that the whites were visible. After being carried to bed and having a glass of water, Korra had admitted that these spells were pretty common. But they were usually just dizziness. This was the first time she had actually fallen over.

Asami had caught the first airship back when she heard the news. The family was trying to keep it under wraps, so she had had to come up with some outlandish excuse to leave the meeting a day early. Something about an administrative error, she couldn't remember now. She had headed straight for Air Temple Island the instant her airship docked. When she had burst through the doors to Korra's bedroom, she had found a concerned Mako, Bolin, Opal, Kya, Tenzin and Senna by Korra's side. The sight of her girlfriend complaining vigorously about being confined to bed was reassurance enough that things were going to be okay. Still, they had rushed into each other's arms, clinging on tightly.

Now, Asami stood outside Korra's door. She could hear muffled sobs from inside, and it broke her heart. She had only seen Korra cry for three things. Once was after her encounter with the Red Lotus, second when Katara passed away, and third when the eating disorder reared its ugly head. She knew she couldn't cure her girlfriend, but there was no way she was going to leave her alone in her misery. Asami knocked on the door.


	2. Chapter 2: Korra

Korra pounded her fist into the pillow, annoyed at the hot tears streaming down her face. Tui and La, how much she hated this. Why was she crying over something so stupid? Tenzin had been joking. He hadn't meant anything by it. Why did it make her feel like this again? She had been getting better. She was better now. She'd stopped starving herself so why did Tenzin's comment hurt so much? The Avatar was supposed to be above this kind of stuff.

A soft voice called from the hallway. "Mind if I come in?"

"No." She rolled over pillow pressed against her face as Asami came in and lay down next to her.

"How are you feeling.?" That question meant so much. It was the first thing Korra had asked after Mr. Sato's arrest, the first thing Asami had asked after Korra almost died. The first thing they had asked each other when they were reunited in Republic City. It carried both an assurance of genuine concern and a expectation of honesty.

So Korra was honest. "I feel horrible, all angry and frustrated. I feel so self conscious. I don't know why this makes me feel like this, and I'm so sorry for causing that scene in the dining room." She sent a couple of flames shooting towards the ceiling. Asami said nothing, letting her vent. "I know he didn't mean anything by it, and I don't know why I let this have so much power over me. It's embarassing. I mean, a lot of it isn't even about trying to stay thin. It's about control." SHe paused. "At least, that's what Suyin's shrink says." Team Avatar had insisted that she go to therapy after the collapse. "That it's my way of trying to feel in control of my body because of what happened to it." She exhaled heavily. "But I guess it's also because I know what people say. You know, about us dating. It's stupid, but I want to make it easier for you sometimes, you know, by looking like the kind of girl that Asami Sato would be with. All makeup and fancy hair and elegant cocktail dresses."

That made Asami sit up. "Hey, no matter how thin or thick you are, you are still going to be brave and genuine and witty and adorable. So whatever you look like, you look exactly like the kind of girl I would date."

"What, 'sexy' doesn't make the list?" Korra smirked as Asami smacked her with a pillow.

"Of course it does. I just didn't think I need to say it, since you seem to know that about yourself, at least."

Korra laughed and rolled over to look at Asami. She wasn't crying anymore. "I feel like I should apologize to Tenzin."

"Whatever you want to do, I'll support it." Asami replied sincerely. "You would think he would know better by now.'

"Yeah." Somehoe, their hands had become intertwined during the conversation. "But I think that can wait. First, I need to make up for making my girlfriend so worried."

It was Asami's turn to laugh. "In all honesty, you don't have to apologize about it. I understand that I'm not going to be able to wave a hand and fix everythin. Healing takes time." Korra's eyes widened as Asami pulled out a crumpled bag. "But I think fireflakes make it go by faster."

"I love you so much." Korra's eyes closed as she ate a mouthful. "Ah, these are so good."

Asami popped a handful herself. "They really are." She mumbled through the food.

Korra raised an eyebrow. "Do i hear the prim and proper Miss Sato talking with her mouth full?"

"Oh, can it, you."

Korra paused for a second, considering something. "Is it wrong that sometimes I feel like I need permission to eat?" 

"What do you mean?"

"You know how sometimes I still feel guilty about eating stuff? Well, it's easier if someone says that it is okay, that I don't have to guilt myself." 

"Korra, you don't have to feel like being the Avatar makes you responsible for everything. You are still a person. You can't be everything to everybody. You don't have to feel guilty for everything." 

The other woman rolled over again. "I feel better now, but I just know that next time something sets me off, I'm going to completely forget that." 

"'ll say it once and I'll say it as much times as you need to hear it." Asami promised, kissing Korra gently on the cheek. "You've always been there when I get those nightmares about my father. Let me be here for you."

Korra smiled up at her, blue eyes lightening. "You're the most amazing girlfriend ever, you know." She paused again, this time with a mischevious look. "I wonder what fireflake kisses taste like?"

"Here's on way to find out." As two of them kissed, their hands coming aorund to haold each other, the empty packet of fireflakes falling to the bedroom floor.


End file.
